8 March 2018

4 Steps To Feeling More In Control Of Your Anxiety

I've been talking a lot lately about confidence, owning it and not letting anxiety get in the way of living your life. Because right now, that's my life. I feel 100x more confident in myself than I did at the end of 2016 last year. But I also feel 100x times more anxious than I did at that point too. How does that make sense?

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.

My anxiety is worse because my life has no anchor. There’s nothing keeping me rooted right now, I’m like a dandelion seed floating in the wind, looking for somewhere to plant myself. That makes me anxious because there is no security or safety in my life right now, which is worlds apart from where I was last year. But, I’m more confident because I know how to look after myself, mental health and all. Anxiety might be more prevalent but it’s easier to handle.

I can't tell you that 2017 was the best of my life, even though in many ways it was. Anxiety-wise, it's been the worst. But my anxiety isn't what or who I am, it's how I react to it that makes me, me.

Addressing Your Anxiety

It sounds absolutely ridiculous to say out loud, but addressing your anxiety as a living thing can help you to understand when it’s affecting your perspective, positivity and mindset. My anxiety might have gotten worse over the last year but I’ve learned to distinguish between what I think and what my mental perspective is telling me to think. When I’m curled up in a ball in bed, fighting thoughts of “you’re going to embarrass yourself” and “you’re not good enough” I know that that’s not me that thinks that. It’s my old friend Annie and she’s absolutely wrong.

Identifying her as her own embodiment lets me know the difference between what I think and feel, versus what Annie is telling me to think and feel. Sounds mad, but it's so helpful.

Stop Fuelling The Fire

I’m a strong believer that if you will for something enough, it'll happen.

Storytime: I’m one of those girls who’s always cold. If I could replay you the time that George almost choked on his cocktail when I showed him my goosebumps whilst watching the sun go down in Thailand, then I would because it’s golden. But you get the picture. However, despite this, I’m pretty good at convincing my body I’m not cold just by thinking about palm tree’s, sun and poolside parties.

Moral of the story however, you shouldn’t fight fire with fire. Fuelling your anxieties with mirroring bad thoughts only adds more flame. Like when you're cold, the more you think about being cold, the more it effects you. When your anxiety is trying to break you down, tell yourself that you’re amazing. Because you are. Tell yourself that you are strong, talented and beautiful because you are those things too. It's all about looking for the positive in the situation you're in and finding confidence in yourself.

Preparation is Key

When anxiety strikes, it’s completely unexpected. Of course, Annie Anxiety isn’t going to ring you up and say “hey, gonna pop over in about half an hour.” So preparation can be a little difficult. But if you can narrow down when she usually makes an appearance, then you can prepare for it next time.

For example, I get anxious about experiences that I can’t predict or control. Like a blogger event when you don’t know who’s on the guest list or what you’re going to be doing once you're there. It's like swimming against the tide. However, I find that going out of my way to get in touch with the event organisers to find an itinerary, scouring social media to find friends that I can tag along with, makes all the difference.

It’s all in the preparation, so the unexpected is expected. That way, when Annie tells you something that makes you feel uncomfortable, you can put out her fire by feeling more in control about the situation.

A Glass Half Full

I think as human beings, we must be trained to look at the glass as half empty. We’re all guilty of nonchalantly looking at things in a negative light. I read online last week that practising gratitude and thanks has a positive effect on our perspective and outlook. So there is logic in assuming that the more we have a negative perspective on our lives, the more solemn we act.

Now, I’m not saying that just because you had a bad day the other day, that you’re an unhappy person. I’m just encouraging you to think about how often you think positively about yourself, the weather, your career etc. There are positive circumstances in almost every negative situation, even when you’re suffering and battling with yourself. Anxiety sucks but I think it can teach you so much when you approach it with a fresh perspective.

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.

Love Always,

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  1. Love this post! I like to think I'm quite in control when it comes to anxiety, but sometimes it can just slip you know? So reading these always helps me put things into perspective. And I think I'm going to live by the quote "10% is what happens and 90% is how you react" - so very true! Great post lovely xx

    Em // Emilybecca.com

    1. Emily, thank you so much. I was so nervous to post this, so it means the world to know it's useful. I totally get that, I have moments where I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle, luckily that's not often. That quote is so perfect though isn't it!



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